What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

returntothestars:

It’s like when Windows does this, but in real life.

image

When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.
A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States. (via africandogontheprairie)

snarg:

when ur sad always remember that u don’t look like you did in 6th grade

meladoodle:

no no no officer you don’t understand, this is medicinal meth

willsicott:

tuxedoandex:

ugly:

What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?

what

Guardians of the Galaxy

allteensrelate:

I find it interesting how society doesn’t care when the media sexualizes women, when men sexualizes women, when school and the government sexualizes women. But the second a woman is in control and sexualizes herself willingly it’s wrong and disgusting.

sassykardashian:

Fred: Okay team let’s split up

Me: *worries for the wellbeing of shaggy and scooby*

uusui:

c0rnmuffins:

uusui:

emma-relille-tunger:

uusui:

iceland is scary

are those giant marshmallows

we icelandic people harvest marshmallows, its the only thing that keeps us alive and healthy, every full moon the icelandic marshmallow god demands tons of giant marshmallows to be made in his honor, later these marshmallows gained its own consciousness and has been roaming around icelandic farms since then, so whenever you drive around iceland you will see these mysterious giant marshmallows in their natural habitat

Seriously though what are those

we icelandic people harvest marshmallows, its the only thing that keeps us alive and healthy, every full moon the icelandic marshmallow god demands tons of giant marshmallows to be made in his honor, later these marshmallows gained its own consciousness and has been roaming around icelandic farms since then, so whenever you drive around iceland you will see these mysterious giant marshmallows in their natural habitat

doomhamster:

belcanta:

nikkidubs:

attentiondeficitaptitude:

belcanta:

Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. 

Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea.

The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income.

But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture.

"BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?" screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. "You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!"

"But where will people get the incentive to work?!" Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. "You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!”

"But who will serve me?" grumbled Marty McMoneybags. "Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??”

I laughed. This is perfect! Well said!

The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)

And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!

Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.

And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.

Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.

And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.

The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?

TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.

jaclcfrost:

hotels can’t be boring to me

they’re just fun

even if i’m sitting in the room watching tv or riding the elevator or sleeping it’s just funfor some reason like they’re average every day things but in a hotel everything is way more amusing and interesting and just simply being in a hotel is fun to me and i don’t understand

frustration-squared:

kung-foofighter:

eytancragg:

anthramen:

I have felt first-hand the very wrath of the Turkish ice-cream man.

The trolliest ice cream man to ever live.

And look at that fucking majestic mustache.

O.O

oh my god

ultrafacts:

aussietory:

third-way-is-best-way:

tuxedoandex:

kvotheunkvothe:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

EVERY TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET SO ANGRY.

but why

Because it got burned. All of that knowledge, lost forever.

The library was destroyed over 1000’s of years ago. The library consisted of thousands of scrolls and books about mathematics, engineering, physiology, geography, blueprints, medicine, plays, & important scriptures. Thinkers from all over the Mediterranean used to come to Alexandria to study.Most of the major work of civilization up until that point was lost. If the library still survived till this day, society may have been more advanced and we would sure know more about the ancient world.

forever-cheeky:

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE GIF EVER